In every movie or novel, it seems as if the couple they choose to highlight are made to be together. One soul split between two bodies, blah blah. Not only is their love epic, but their sex life is fan-fucking-tastic. However, In reality, this is not the case. Sometimes sex sucks. It especially sucks when your partner is not very good in bed. So what can you do? Read below:
If your partner is not satisfying you in bed, there can be a whole number of reasons. They could be unaware or just selfish. However chances are good that they simply do not know that they are failing in that arena. Some people fake it, so they do not hurt their partner feelings. All this will do is build up resentment in your partner. Just be honest. Tell them it is not working and you would like to try some things that will satisfy both of you. If they are not willing to try to make things work, you might want to try a new partner.
If you’re a independent person, who don’t need someone to satisfy you, raise your hand. Okay, you don’t need to be an independent person to be able to masturbate, but being independent does make it easier to take things into your own hands. Literally. There is no shame in pleasing your self. In fact it can be great. You are more in touch with your own body then any one else. This can be a great release for all the bottled frustrations you may have, especially when your not getting satisfaction from your partner. However, it his is just a temporary solution.
Sex toys can also decrease any frustrations and built-up tension you may have. Not only is it good, but if your partner isn’t really horrible, it can be a great solution. A vibrator can double any pleasure you are getting. There are vibrators for men as well, such as the cock ring. This can amplify the sex for both of you. When the sex gets better, it will also make your partner want to do it more, which can be used as practice time.
Sometimes, the issue is that a partner may not be as into as you think they are. Sometimes an engine needs to be warmed up before it can start. This is where foreplay becomes essential. So many people want to start and finish but fail to understand that the journey is the best part. Reintroduce foreplay into your sex life. Touch is one of the best senses you can use. Tease your partner and show them where you like to be touched, which can help you in the long-term too. Slowing down sex can not increase the pleasure over time.
When you communicate with your partner, not only should you tell them how you feel, but also what you want. People are not mind readers. Tell your partner, or better yet, show them. Set up a fantasy and let them act it out with you. Take an edible marker and mark all the places you would like to be touched. Give them a road map of your body and encourage them to take the wheel. It might be an interesting ride.
If all else fails, seek help. There is nothing wrong with seeing someone to help you guys. A therapist doesn’t mean you failed, it means you want to make things better. Keep an open mind. Sometimes the mental stimulation will transfer over to the physical. Maybe your partner has too much stress and it is translating into the bedroom. Have a talk with them. Agree to make no judgements about one another and to travel down that road hand in hand.