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How to Share “Wearing the Pants” in a Relationship

In a relationship, in no way, should one person who should wear the pants. This isn’t the 1920’s. The two of you need to realize that you’re in a relationship together. That means you need to accommodate yourself but the other person as well. Avoid being selfish all the time, only looking out for what’s best for you. You should be willing and wanting to fill different roles in a relationship. Having both of you wear the pants is a clear sign that your relationship is healthy and has the potential of making forever a possibility.

Make decisions together

Run things by each other constantly. You need to vocalize your opinions or concerns. If you make decisions together, you’re more likely to feel satisfied by the outcome. Work together. This is how you avoid arguments or unnecessary tension.

Share responsibility

With relationships comes responsibilities. There’s simply no denying that. You both have to share them. A relationship will not work if one of you is taking on more than you should, more than your partner. It’s okay to do it once in a while if your partner is feeling shitty, but do not make this a habit. At one point, the other person will become accustomed to it. You don’t want this to happen.

Be accepting of your partner’s goals

Don’t be selfish. You both have the right to have goals. You both deserve to do things that make you happy, that have a way of completing you and turning you into the person you always hoped to be. Instead of being an obstacle for them, be a reason for them to accomplish whatever it is they want. You have to understand that you both have the right to have goals. You both have the right to be supported.

Don’t avoid real conversation

Most people tend to confuse serious conversations with arguments. Just because you’re having a conversation of substance, something that isn’t all fun and games, doesn’t mean that you guys are arguing. Don’t avoid having these types of conversations. Don’t refrain from listening to your partner because you’re stubborn. They’re feelings matter, they’re opinions matter, and so do their concerns. They matter just as much as yours do.

There’s no place for hierarchy in a relationship

This one literally speaks for itself. There is no hierarchy. One of you doesn’t get more say than the other. One of you doesn’t need to follow and accept everything the other says. You both equally wear the pants in a relationship. If you can’t accept that then you shouldn’t be in one. This is a gross way of thinking. I mean that disrespectfully.


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