Confidence on its surface seems like one of the simplest things to notice, acknowledge and appreciate. However, it’s a quality that we all take for granted on a regular basis until someone with confidence oozing out of them comes walking into the room – I’m thinking Harvey Specter:
When someone walks into a room and does so with their heads up, shoulders back, dressed in something that’s a perfect fit, and has a smile on their face to top it all off – people notice. But confidence goes beyond just owning a room. It extends to the way we present ourselves when we speak, the way we carry on our conversations, and how often we turn the lights off in the bedroom.
When we’re having a conversation with someone and every other word we say is “um” or “maybe” or “like” or if we spend a lot of time having our opinions swayed by other people, then we’re sending a very clear message about our self-esteem. We all know those people who are willing to stand there and shout their opinion from rooftops, and some of us may think they’re absolutely nuts but we would never doubt their confidence.
Hearing someone confident speak, you can feel it in the way they say it, the hand gestures they use to convey it and their body language. No matter how ridiculous something sounds, if it’s said confidently enough… someone will believe it. Some of the most charismatic people in the world have mastered conveying their ideas with confidence – it’s probably why the world is seemingly such a devastating place. The most confident people will have followers just because of the way they convey their ideas – regardless of how sound those ideas are. Being witty is incredibly attractive as well. If someone fires a shot at you and you are able to reciprocate almost immediately with a sarcastic bit of your own instead of getting offended – that’s mental hard-on status right there. You never want to become predictable in your responses and confidence goes a long way towards keeping the excitement, especially in relationships.
Confidence in relationships can actually make or break your connection. No one likes having their intentions questioned and their every move scrutinized. A woman that accepts her man’s reason for not showing up somewhere and doesn’t pick a battle with him over every single thing he says is a lot sexier than the one that throws a bat shit crazy fit. Trust problems are not attractive; please leave your “I-think-daddy-screwed-the-babysitter” issues at the door. The same is true for both genders. If you’ve been hurt in the past by previous relationships, it’s best to bury those issues and not take them out on your new partner, lest you create problems that never existed in the first place. Finding someone trustworthy is hard enough, there’s no reason to project past issues onto that person and make things worse.
When it comes to sex, confidence is everything. Walking into that bedroom and OWN it! Lights on or lights off, get completely naked (including the socks) and know that the person you’re sharing your body with thinks you’re hot… otherwise they probably wouldn’t want to sleep with you. The person you’re with doesn’t need to remind you of this because just the act of them being with you implies it… although an occasional “damn baby, you’re sexy as hell” always goes a long way.
Your level of confidence will also show through during sex. Your willingness to try new positions, to accept some naughty words, and to play along in various scenarios all depends on your level of comfort with yourself. Having the confidence to go forth and try new things is exceptionally attractive and definitely makes it easier for your partner to open up to you. Sometimes the deepest connections are made while your legs are pretzel-ed behind your head.
Now remember, there is a fine line between confidence and ego. Confidence can be backed out and stands the test of time, whereas ego shatters at the slightest resistance.
Veronika Klebanova | News Cult