In all fairness and honesty, men and women are wired differently. God (or not) created two totally different complements and said OK, make this work! So it is only understandable that we are completely clueless at times on how to deal with our counterparts and this is sometimes too evident when it comes to sex (remember your first time and the phrase “not there!!”)? And to make matters even more difficult, it seems even our scientific community is biased. You can find so much information on male sexual behavior and drives but almost nothing on women except for polls and very hard to obtain research data. To make things a little easier for the guys who are on the “what now” boat, here are a few tips…
Be a man! If a girl wanted sweet and friendly sex, she would do it with her best friend. If a woman is interested in you, it’s most probably because you have a lot of what she doesn’t have but needs. So take advantage of this demand. You got the goods (literally) and be comfortable using them and be comfortable taking charge!
Foreplay is a must (absolutely). From a physiological point, foreplay can get a woman aroused. It is necessary for the vagina to produce natural lubrication and it increases blood flow to sensitive areas like the vagina, clitoris, areola and nipples. Start slow and progress gradually. Women enjoy the most if the man takes his time with her and focuses on giving her pleasure.
Let her know you love her. On a daily basis, let her know that you care and you are concerned about her happiness. Some women may like the idea of flowers and chocolates. Others may just like to be held or hugged once in a while during the day. As much as women are changing nowadays, all the years of evolution will not go away overnight and the point is, women still want to be taken care of (some may like the man to brood over her, others may like a more subtle approach). Talk to her and learn what she wants. Providing a safe and secure relationship enables the woman to trust you and in turn she can be more and willing to let you go that extra mile when you really want to.
But on the flip side, a little spanking goes a long way. As much as women are striving for equality and respect, when it comes to sex and release, some of the desires are still primal. Don’t be afraid to use some aggression during the act. Nipple biting, hard caressing or some spanking can be a total turn on! Subtle pain during sex actually enhances the arousal for some women and polls of women and their fantasies are revealing that women actually enjoy being treated as objects of sexual desire. While this may not fly on a routine basis, sometimes not having control during sex can increase the excitement she feels and can turn your little kitten into pure bliss. However, since this is a sensitive topic, it is highly suggested that you openly talk about what is OK and what is off limits beforehand.
Finally, take her dirty. Polls show that many women in fact fantasize about being controlled and have the desire to please a man like a prostitute (yes, I said it!!!). And why not? Think about it: a prostitute referred to a woman who dressed to show off her assets, who was not afraid of what society thought of her and was not afraid to derive pleasure from sex or from attentions of men. So treat her the way she wants to be treated. In fact, women who engage in role play tend to feel more liberated and confident in their bodies as it allows them to fully experience sexuality. This is a very daring and risky proposition, especially if the couple isn’t in a comfortable relationship yet. Start by using a few dirty words and see her reaction. Trust me, if she’s into it, you’ll know immediately!
A relationship has its ups and downs but when it comes to the intimacy, it is all about the up and up! Best of luck!!